Charles Bukowski was an American poet, novelist and short story writer. Here's a great example of Bukowski's prose and brilliant sense of humour. ‘The 9 Horse’ is an excerpt from an album recording entitled “Hostage” which was recorded live at The Sweetwater, Redondo Beach, California in April, 1980.
The 9 Horse by Charles Bukowski
I was at the race track one day
And I had drunk much beer the night before
And I was late for the first race
But I parked, hustled in, and I could
Feel this beershit really coming on,
You know, not only coming on
But I had to hold the cheeks of my ass
Together while walking real fast from
The parking lot and through admissions
And toward and in the crapper.
Luckily, there was a stall and I got
My pants and shorts down real fast
And then it came: hot, glorious and
Stinking.
When I got up and wiped I looked down
And there was my wallet afloat
In all of it.
I dipped in, got it, flushed, got out
Of the stall, washed up, walked out,
Then stood in a corner and pulled
The bills out of my wallet: they
Were wet and they stank.
I heard the announcer say, “it is
Now one minute to post time.”
I wanted the 9 horse, I had this
Very strong feeling for the 9 horse.
I put the bills back in my wallet.
I didn’t know what to do.
Then the announcer said:
“they’re at the gate!”
I ran around the corner
Found a betting window
Pulled one of the bills out
Of my wallet and hollered:
“Ten to win on the 9 horse!”
The seller picked up the bill
And looked at it.
“Come on! Come on!” I said,
“It’s good, just a little wet,
What the shit!”
The seller looked at me,
Hit the button and I had
The ticket.
Then I went out and watched the
Race and the 9 horse ran
Out