Charles Bukowski - The 9 Horse

Charles Bukowski was an American poet, novelist and short story writer. Here's a great example of Bukowski's prose and brilliant sense of humour. ‘The 9 Horse’ is an excerpt from an album recording entitled “Hostage” which was recorded live at The Sweetwater, Redondo Beach, California in April, 1980.

The 9 Horse by Charles Bukowski

I was at the race track one day

And I had drunk much beer the night before

And I was late for the first race

But I parked, hustled in, and I could

Feel this beershit really coming on,

You know, not only coming on

But I had to hold the cheeks of my ass

Together while walking real fast from

The parking lot and through admissions

And toward and in the crapper.

Luckily, there was a stall and I got

My pants and shorts down real fast

And then it came: hot, glorious and

Stinking.

When I got up and wiped I looked down

And there was my wallet afloat

In all of it.

I dipped in, got it, flushed, got out

Of the stall, washed up, walked out,

Then stood in a corner and pulled

The bills out of my wallet: they

Were wet and they stank.

I heard the announcer say, “it is

Now one minute to post time.”

I wanted the 9 horse, I had this

Very strong feeling for the 9 horse.

I put the bills back in my wallet.

I didn’t know what to do.

Then the announcer said:

“they’re at the gate!”

I ran around the corner

Found a betting window

Pulled one of the bills out

Of my wallet and hollered:

“Ten to win on the 9 horse!”

The seller picked up the bill

And looked at it.

“Come on! Come on!” I said,

“It’s good, just a little wet,

What the shit!”

The seller looked at me,

Hit the button and I had

The ticket.

Then I went out and watched the

Race and the 9 horse ran

Out

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